Today My Life Changed

Though technically, it changed a few weeks ago.  Today was just the solidifying change.

Foodagality: Tuna and Corn Jacket Potatoes

So, today I was too lazy to go digging through the freezers and pantry to figure out what to make for dinner.  Big surprise there, right?  Me, lazy?  Never.

The Rage Is Strong In This One

So, a precursor to this particular rant: I am a member of a group that serves a dual purpose.  One, to roast other members/people, and two, call out people that actually do something wrong or unsavory in other related groups.

Post-Graduation Party and Pre-Job

This summer has been a roller coaster of emotions.  It started out with an almost depression, mourning the loss of my graduation walk, mourning the loss of a beloved pet not too long after.

The high of planning my graduation party, of my family coming up.  The highs and lows of having my little sister up here for a week, of taking her out with Ron, not knowing how to take care of a six-year-old.

The party was, for all intents and purposes, a success.  I'm still working out thank you cards for everyone that showed up and everyone that sent a gift.  It's a lot harder writing them then I thought they would be, but they'll get done soon, I'm sure.

Far too soon, little girl.
We miss her so much.

Then we lost Kethry, unexpectedly.  That, at risk of understating it, took a lot of the edge off my enthusiasm for the new computer my wonderful Ron had built for me as a gift, for the good things that had happened, while also tempering my ill feelings about everything that had gone bad.  And now, Rose is alone - and I'm worried.  Worried she is unhappy, unwell, and wonder what is to come, with her being a good year and a half old by now.  I'm scared for her, and fear that the day she joins her sisters is coming far too soon for me.

I'm worried about my family, the health of my grandparents and my sister.  Worried about my current loss of insurance, until I get more information in the mail.

But even amongst the worry and doubt, good things are happening.  Ron and I attended the Bristol Renn Faire.  We're going to Gencon in less then four days.  I'm starting a job in a week, something I've been fighting and crying for since this time last year.  Everything is starting to move forward - and I have to prepare for it, whatever may come.

A Pet Owner's Blindspot

This is likely going to be lengthy.  There's so much on my mind, and none of it is easy or comfortable.  For those of you that I've sent this link and want the TL: DR version, scroll to the bottom - I'll put it there for you.

Today

Today was the day I was supposed to do the walk across the stage.  Wearing a stuffy black robe and hat, likely sweating up a storm during the hours of wearing the thing.  All to spend all of 10 seconds on the stage itself, getting an empty tube, shaking hands, then leaving again.

Today, I didn't do that.  I woke up, got on my computer - and had it hit me that I wasn't walking.  I had decided weeks, months ago that I wasn't going to walk, for a multitude of reasons.  Some of it out of spite, some out of anger, but a big part of it being practicality - at least two of the most important people to my college education couldn't have attended because of the health implications of the graduation venue.  So I made the decision to not walk, to instead invest into a graduation party - one where I could celebrate with everyone.

Today, it finally hit me.  I saw pictures and cried.  Cried for my lost walk, cried for sacrificing one of the things I have fought seven long years for.  Cried for the fact that my parents, grandparents, Ron, myself - would not get to see my reward for a well fought battle.

Today, I will grieve for what I've given up.  I will cry, and moan, and lament.  I will hate the world.  I will hate the school.  I will hate my decision.

Tomorrow, I will get up.  I will plan my party, plan my future.  I will call my family, and wish my mother-figures a happy mother's day.  I will play with Stormy, clean the house, contemplate whether I want a peanut butter sandwich or soup for lunch.   I will continue the course I set seven years ago, when I decided to attend Purdue University Calumet.

Modern Dating Issues...Or Foolish Dating Issues?

Normally, I wouldn't write a post to respond to another article/blog entry I saw on the interwebs.  However, I saw one linked on facebook that ended up rubbing me the wrong way to a certain degree, and I feel the need to write a rebuttal to it.