Today

Today was the day I was supposed to do the walk across the stage.  Wearing a stuffy black robe and hat, likely sweating up a storm during the hours of wearing the thing.  All to spend all of 10 seconds on the stage itself, getting an empty tube, shaking hands, then leaving again.

Today, I didn't do that.  I woke up, got on my computer - and had it hit me that I wasn't walking.  I had decided weeks, months ago that I wasn't going to walk, for a multitude of reasons.  Some of it out of spite, some out of anger, but a big part of it being practicality - at least two of the most important people to my college education couldn't have attended because of the health implications of the graduation venue.  So I made the decision to not walk, to instead invest into a graduation party - one where I could celebrate with everyone.

Today, it finally hit me.  I saw pictures and cried.  Cried for my lost walk, cried for sacrificing one of the things I have fought seven long years for.  Cried for the fact that my parents, grandparents, Ron, myself - would not get to see my reward for a well fought battle.

Today, I will grieve for what I've given up.  I will cry, and moan, and lament.  I will hate the world.  I will hate the school.  I will hate my decision.

Tomorrow, I will get up.  I will plan my party, plan my future.  I will call my family, and wish my mother-figures a happy mother's day.  I will play with Stormy, clean the house, contemplate whether I want a peanut butter sandwich or soup for lunch.   I will continue the course I set seven years ago, when I decided to attend Purdue University Calumet.

Modern Dating Issues...Or Foolish Dating Issues?

Normally, I wouldn't write a post to respond to another article/blog entry I saw on the interwebs.  However, I saw one linked on facebook that ended up rubbing me the wrong way to a certain degree, and I feel the need to write a rebuttal to it.

Catch Up #3: The Not-So-Good News

As much good news as the car and cat are, there were also some pitfalls in the last few weeks.  And none of them have been particularly kind to me.

Catching Up #2: New Car

In this second installment of my recent past life, we will be discussing my new car.

Catching up #1 - New pet

I wish I'd kept this actually updated, because so much has happened in the past month and a half - some of it good, some of it not so good. So I'm just going to do a line of posts regarding the biggest changes and events of the last few weeks.

The biggest thing is that we have expanded our fur-family once again.  The SO and I are now the proud fur-parents of a cat we've since then named Stormy - based off the Stormcloaks in Skyrim, because geek.

Improvements, Big and Small

So, for the last few weeks, I've been almost regularly going to the gym.  Mainly jogging and fast walking on the treadmill, but also using the machines to strengthen my arms, legs, and core.  Of course, when I first began, I realized just how out of shape I was - barely able to keep up with the 'mill set to 3.0 speed, let alone 4.0 or 5.  Barely able to do on set one the abdominal, not even really able to do a sit up or push up.  Wanting to cry after two seconds of a plank.

Has it really just began?

I'm tired.  I'm not talking in the physical sense, either - I mean in a resounding, mental and emotional sense.